So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
