my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
