Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
