yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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