question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize