I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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