Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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