I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
