I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
