They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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