he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
