I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
