omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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