Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
