he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
