it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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