We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
