remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
