Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
