do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
