but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
