But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize