it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
