I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
