What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just invented taco cereal.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I enjoy the company of your penis
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
