The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
