the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
