Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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