I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
