yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
