You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
