Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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