you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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