Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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