This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
