It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
