went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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