So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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