If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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