My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
