Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
