I accidentally had phone sex last night
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
