Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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