It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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