dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Never underestimate the power of titties
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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