Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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