You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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