i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
