I hate all girls vehemently.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize