Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
