I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize