im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
