he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize