People with herpes should wear stickers.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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