What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
