That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
