you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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