What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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