She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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