Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
